


The Smash Frantics Fighter Pass 1 Edition

by FiliaSnowe



Category: Super Smash Brothers, The Frantics
Genre: Akira is a lawyer don't question it, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Attempt at Humor, Comedy, Crack, Everybody gets bashed here but it's all in good fun, F!Byleth is called Billie here, F/M, Funny, M!Byleth is trolling from beyond the grave, Modern Era, Parody, crackfic, poor Akira
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:22:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28759518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiliaSnowe/pseuds/FiliaSnowe
Summary: Based on my Smash Frantics fic this time featuring the dlc cast of FP1.
Relationships: Terry Bogard/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	The Smash Frantics Fighter Pass 1 Edition

**Akira:** As the executor of Mr. Eisner's estate, I have been empowered to read Mr. Eisner's Last Will And Testament.

 **Banjo:** Well, get on with it, the bars open soon.

 **Billie:** _*sobbing*_ Oh, poor, dear Byleth! Waaaa!

 **Terry:** Oh, there, there, Billie.

 **Erdrick:** _*sighs*_ Gods, how predictably boring.

 **Eleven:** I never worked for a kinder man.

 **Akira:** If we are all seated, I shall proceed with the reading.

 **Erdrick:** I knew it.

 **Banjo:** _*snickers*_

 **Akira:** _*reading the will*_ "I, Byleth Matthew Eisner, being of sound mind and body..."

 **Banjo:** That's a laugh! _*laughs*_

 **Akira:** "...do hereby divide up my considerable estate as follows. To my overly emotional sister, Billie..."

 **Billie:** _*sobbing*_

 **Terry:** Billie, babe, he's talking about us.

 **Billie:** Oh.

 **Akira:** "...who grubbed with her husband, Terry, grubbed for everything they could get from me, and then cried crocodile tears when I needed sympathy..."

 **Billie:** What?

 **Akira:** "...To Billie, I leave a boot to the head."

 **Billie:** A what?

_*BONK!*_

**Billie:** Ow!

 **Terry:** Billie are you okay?

 **Akira:** "...and another boot to her dorky husband, Terry."

_*BONK!*_

**Terry:** Ow!

 **Banjo:** _*laughing*_

 **Billie:** This is an outrage!

 **Akira:** "...ah, but still, you are my sister, you have both admired my Rolls Royce, and since I no longer need it..."

 **Billie:** Oh, dear Byleth he's too kind!

 **Terry:** Yes.

 **Akira:** "...I bequeath another boot to the head."

 **Billie:** What?

_*BONK!*_

**Billie:** Ow!

 **Banjo:** _*laughing*_

 **Akira:** "And one more for the dork."

_*BONK!*_

**Terry:** Ow!

 **Akira:** "Next, to my alcoholic brother..."

 **Banjo:** Hey, I don't want no boot to the head!

 **Akira:** "...to dear Banjo, who has never worked a day in his drunken life..."

 **Banjo:** _*shields his head*_ I'm coverin' up my head!

 **Akira:** "...I leave my wine cellar and three crates of my finest whiskey."

 **Banjo:** Really?

 **Akira:** "And a boot to the head."

_*BONK!*_

**Banjo:** OH!

 **Akira:** "And another for Billie and the dork."

_*BONK!*_

**Billie:** Oh!

_*BONK!*_

**Terry:** Ow!

 **Akira:** "Next, to my know-it-all nephew, Erdrick..."

 **Erdrick:** This is so predictable...

 **Akira:** "...I leave a boot to the head."

_*BONK!*_

**Erdrick:** Uh! I knew it.

 **Akira:** "And one for Billie and the dork."

_*BONK!*_

**Billie:** Ah!

_*BONK!*_

**Terry:** OH!

 **Akira:** "This takes care of family obligations. And now, to Mr. Eleven..."

 **Eleven:** Oh, uh, I don't want nothin'.

 **Akira:** "...who took care of me faithfully these many, many years, who cared, made me laugh, brought me tea..."

 **Eleven:** Oh, I didn't mind.

 **Akira:** "To Mr. Eleven, I bequeath a boot to the head."

_*BONK!*_

**Eleven:** OH!

 **Akira:** "And one for Billie and the dork."

_*BONK!*_

**Billie:** AH!

_*BONK!*_

**Terry:** OH!

Akira: "And so, to my cat Snowball, I leave my entire vast...boot to the head!"

_*BONK!*_

_*MEOW!*_

**Akira:** "And finally, to my lawyer, Akira Kurusu, who has helped me on this will, I leave not a boot to the head...but a rabid Tasmanian devil, to be placed in his trousers?!" Auugh!! Ow, ow ow ow ow ow, and, and, "...and I leave my entire estate of 10 million dollars to the people of Calgary so they can afford to move somewhere decent!" _*pants*_

 **Terry:** Is that it?

 **Erdrick:** That's it?!

 **Banjo:** That's disgraceful!

 **Akira:** There's one last thing for everyone.

 **Banjo:** Cover your heads, everybody!

 **Akira:** "I leave everyone a lifetime supply of ice cream."

 **Terry:** Ice cream?

 **Banjo:** Ice cream?

 **Erdrick:** Ice cream, that's all?

 **Akira:** That's all.

 **Eleven:** Well, what flavor is it?

 **Akira:** Boot to the head!

_*BONK!* *BONK!* *BONK!* *BONK!*_

**All:** OW!


End file.
